Comments on: My Boyfriend Started Smoking Cigars. Should I Tolerate It?

By: Animal Lover.

Animal Lover. — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:51:13 +0000

I wouldn’t start smoking.
Because its really bad for your heart.
Your heart turns like a black tar when you
smoke cigars,cigs,drugs.
Def. not good for you.
Everybody knows now that smoking is bad for you. But that wasn’t always the case. In the 1940s, ’50s and ’60s, Americans smoked with reckless abandon — in their offices, in department stores, on elevators, planes and buses. In 1965, nearly half of all Americans smoked.NOT GOOD.
DONT SMOKE..NEVER.

By: Duff Man

Duff Man — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:01:12 +0000

It’s his life not yours, let him do what he wants. Maybe you guys shouldn’t have broken up and maybe he never would of taken up smoking.

By: DG

DG — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:20:43 +0000

Theres nothing wrong with smoking cigars. Just give him a couple nights a week to go hang out and smoke with buddies and he will be a happier person, cigar smoking can be very relaxing.
Just ask him to not smoke around you, if he refuses than you have some different issues to work out.
Cigars are very different than cigarettes. Cigars are not suppose to be inhaled and I find them to be non addictive (I only smoke about 3 nights a week) I have smoked more often and less often, often going several weeks without a cigar without any kind of negative effects.
Just give him his space and let him smoke occasionally (and keep a humidor if he chooses) and the two of you will be much happier.

By: Vincenzo

Vincenzo — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:11:09 +0000

It looks like you’re basically behaving in exactly the same way that brought you two to break up. In every relationship there is a moment to compromise, either you want to be with him or not.
Maybe there some things he doesn’t like about you but lets you do them anyway.
Cigar smoking, or slow-smoking in general, in moderation is not all that dangerous, doesn’t give you bad teeth or worse side effects than, say, a walk downtown at rush hour.

By: Hailz

Hailz — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:03:02 +0000

Tell him you don’t feel comfortable with him smoking.
If he continues to, tell him the heath hasards.
If he still continues, tell him you don’t want to be involoved with a person who smokes, and break up with him.
Offer to help him stop.

By: Gorkbark Porkduke Gefunken Fubar

Gorkbark Porkduke Gefunken Fubar — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 10:44:28 +0000

You are not making a big deal about this. Smoking kills. I watched my father slowly suffocate from emphysema over 6 months from a lifetime of smoking, and believe me, it’s not a way you want to go. So unless you want to put up with dying from second-hand smoke and watching him die too, bail out of the situation while you still have lungs.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 09:29:33 +0000

my hubby won’t smoke cigars for the simple reason the smoke gives me a horrible migraine and it cost us over a $100 for a shot to get rid of the headache. tell him if he needs to do that then he can’t do it around you and has to shower and change before he sees you because the smell makes you ill. if he really loves you then he will either do this or not smoke them at all.learn to pick your battles wisely the more you nag and bitc$ the more he is less likely to do what you want him to and instead do it all the more.source been married 20 years

By: BabeHart

BabeHart — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 06:39:08 +0000

Consider all the things people do daily, that are supposed to be bad for us…over eating, eating the wrong foods, not exercising enough, drinking alcohol, just to name a few. As long as neither of you do any of those things, then it’s okay to make smoking a dealbreaker…however if there are other things that are done that are unhealthy, and especially if you do them, then it’s not really fair for you to use smoking as a health issue, as a dealbreaker.
You’re perfectly within your rights to hate it, and it does indeed stink. So like many people that smoke cigs, say it only goes on outside…no stinking up the house. I find that people who smoke outside only, do tend to smoke less than those that sit inside, watching tv or playing on the computer, and doing it.
So, bottom line, do what you feel is best for you. He’s an adult and it’s his right to abuse his body as he sees fit…but you don’t have to choose to stay with him while he does it (and vice versa).

By: independ

independ — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:48:27 +0000

I would definitely speak up.
Smoking is gross, its horrible for you and him, and if he cares about you, he should care about your health. If he wants a future with you, he should care about his health.
A friend of mine smoked cigars and got oral cancer, and it was a horrible thing to go through. I love my friend dearly, but it was very disgusting, and he went through a lot of pain. Hes still dealing with it-it continues to come back after treatment. Smoking nasty cigars isn’t worth it.
Now is the time to set a boundary. You can only make the suggestion for him for his health, but you need to demand he not smoke around you, period.
Good luck!

By: Josh

Josh — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:05:54 +0000

I think it’s perfectly understandable to be concerned for your BF’s health, and to find cigar smoking disgusting — I certainly do. The question is, assuming he’s not doing it around you (I hope he’s not), is it really such a show stopper? I think you yourself said that you may make a big deal out of small things. I would classify this as a small thing — again, assuming he doesn’t smoke around you.
Guys do need a bit of independence. Boundaries are important, too, but I think they should be focused more on things that affect your life more directly than this does (since the health risks from moderate cigar smoking aren’t that great).
Benefits of nicotine: I think it’s important to remember that while nicotine does have strong psychological benefits and some minor health ones, over the long term, the negative health effects outweigh the positives. That being said, I quite agree with you that alternative ways to get nicotine are better and much less harmful. The patches probably aren’t a good idea, because they’re for people who smoke cigarettes throughout the day, the dosage is going to be wrong and make him sick and probably more addicted. But the lozenges are great, the gum is OK, and electronic cigarettes are probably fine. None of these things cause cancer or COPD and the nicotine doses in these haven’t been shown to cause harm. I honestly don’t know why more people don’t use them — I’ve had so much success with the lozenges that I’ve recommended them to friends, but nobody seems to try them. The only one who did liked them at first but he gave up too easily, he was getting queasy because he chewed the tablets, which makes you sick.