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• Quit smoking once and for all (smokinghelper.com)

Three people are in a lifeboat, adrift at sea. They have four cigarettes, but no matches or lighters. How can they each smoke a cigarette?

Answer: throw one cigarette overboard, which will make the boat a cigarette lighter.

After creating your own detailed profile (up to 3 are allowed for) and “signing” a promise contract, you get to see how 6 experts give up smoking on a basic level with a few more detailed testimonials after certain sections. These pre-selectable experts also act as your guides throughout the entire process. The experts appear after Mr. Carr’s introduction to the game. You are able to choose which coach you prefer to work with from a list of 3 men and 3 women. These personal coaches, along with their own testimonials at the end of the game levels give you a unique insight into their personal journies as well as an emotional link from the game to the real world. The game is also fully customized based on your own profile information (e.g. your selected pictures appear in the game at the key points).

This game bridges real world connections with a simple stick figure character as well as the antagonistic little nicotine monster in a flip notebook visual format that uses both console screens to full eff4ct. Just when you think the game might be too ‘lightweight’, the impact hits. Even as a non-smoking player, this game really entertains with some amazing mini games included in the line up.

The game establishes emotional points about smoking through it’s own writings and text and visual effects, then you get some fast paced challenges and that incorporate the console’s touch capabilities very well. The “cake factory” and “catch-a-pearl” require quick hand and eye coordination and memory skills while the stop smoking message couldn’t be clearer in the more graphic, but cartoonish games like “monster chef” and “the dentist”.

Each mini game features an introduction tutorial video before beginning plus you get a 1-2-3 countdown from the friendly stick figure. We only needed more explanation on “nasty flood”, which requires quick reflexes to soak the nicotine monster and put the water in empty windows instead of just soaking the monster to win the level.

Each mini game also features a cigarette icon in the lower left corner during gameplay. Hit this icon for some in-game help, though you usually get a minor penalty for taking the easy way out (less time, etc.). Some mini games are hard initially, and they’re supposed to be to illustrate how that “little monster” can interfere with your life and good times. “Taxi driver” is probably the best example of this point, plus it ramps up the mental challenge.

The entertaining mini games also have a great impact and leave you wanting more…say 12 games for each of the six coaching experts instead of 12 for the entire game. The mini games are replayable after you play them once, regardless of your score, to unlock them.

Once you complete the game, enjoy viewing the benefits calendar every day for the first week, then weekly for three weeks. This mode is to keep updated progress on the smoking situation. Change the date to see the other benefit calendar segments. “It’s definitely easier to avoid a game than a real stop smoking coach, but we found this game very entertaining and informative,” says the stop smoking couple. “We don’t have to do this, but we want to, plus we can come and go as we like, which is great for our schedule.”

This coaching guide is effective (special recipes), entertaining (mini games) and educational (money saved), but as a game, My Stop Smoking Coach definitely leaves you wanting more mini games. The addition of some short testimonial videos or online/multiplayer modes might also enhance the game. Still, the new non-smoking couple plan to visit Carr’s website in the future for further real life success stories. Happy New Year and all the best success to stop smoking in 2009!

My Stop Smoking Coach is rated E (Everyone) by the ESRB for tobacco use.

10/10

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by, and around, the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents; i.e., the children, of the aforementioned House, were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations; i.e., dreams, wherein visions of confectionery treats, including, but, not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear
in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as “I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep.

At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear; e.g., kerchief and cap. Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House; i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance.

The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle”) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and, in fact, was, the previously referenced Claus. Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”).
(Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named “Rudolph”
may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to, and in the vicinity of, the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature.

Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House,
and Claus entered said House via the chimney. Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the forementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco
in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the Income Tax Act)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose, and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.”

Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

Or words to that effect.

#Author Unknown

A man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred.

The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?”

“No,” he replied, “I’ve never done either.”

“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?” inquired the doctor.

“No, I’ve never done any of those things either.”

“Well then,” said the doctor, “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?”

Waiting at a bus stop one day a lady spots a young lad lighting up a
cigarette.

She turns to the boy and asks him: “Don’t you think you’re a little young to be smoking, how old are you?”

“I’m 8 years old.” Answers the boy.

“8? And how long have you been smoking?” she asked.

“Oh, I started right after I made love for the first time.” the boy said.

“MADE LOVE? And when, may I ask, was that?” the woman continued.

The boy thought for a moment and replied: “I can’t remember, I was drunk!”

A little boy was sitting smoking a cigarette on a park bench. After chain smoking three in a
row, a man sitting on the bench across from him said, “Don’t you
know smoking is bad for you? Your lungs get full of tar and your
clothes will begin to smell bad, and you could end up with lung cancer”. To which
the little boy replied “My grandma lived to be a hundred and
seven!” “Oh” said the man. “Did she smoke?’ “No” said the little
boy. “She minded her own damned business!”

A young doctor was carrying out research into Coal Miners Pneumoconiosis (“Coal Dust Disease”), which gradually destroys the lungs.

He was visiting the Miners Social Clubs, interviewing ex-miners who had the disease. In any research involving the lungs it is essential to know whether the person is exposed to tobacco smoke – his own or other peoples.

“So, Bill, are you still smoking tobacco?”

“I am,” replied Bill.

“But don’t you know how bad smoking is for the lungs, especially for someone like you with “the dust”?”

“Certainly, doctor, but it’s only smoking that keeps my wife alive!”

“How do you mean?” asked the doctor, clearly very puzzled.

“Well, if I gave up smoking I’d murder her!”