How Do I Get My Son And Daughter-in-law To Stop...
My wife and I gave her a book that said how dangerous it is for the baby. Their response is, “it’s so hard to stop.” Am I overreacting? They are both very young (18 and 19).
NOTE: Neither my wife nor I smoke.
18 Responses to “How Do I Get My Son And Daughter-in-law To Stop Smoking While She Is Carrying Their Baby?”
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June 26th, 2009 at 1:26 am
The sad thing is, is that I don’t think that there is anything you or your wife can do. I’m sorry that you are going through this, but if it somewhat helps….many people smoke during their pregnancy and have no complications w/ their child. But i don’t think its fare to play monopoly when it comes to your childs health. Just hope & pray that they will be able to kick the habit, and if not, that your grandbaby will be ok
June 26th, 2009 at 5:14 am
There is nothing you can do. They are both considered adult legally and if they want to smoke and they don’t care about how it effects the baby then you can’t do anything about it. But be careful cause if you ride them about it all the time it’s a good possibility they will tell you it’s none of your business and to leave them alone! (not being mean) good luck
June 26th, 2009 at 6:12 am
both my sister inlaw and brother smoked when she was pregnant with both kids (a boy and a girl) and my nefew has extreame learning disabilaties he is now almost 4 and is just starting to learn to talk but my niece was talking at 2 so it kinda depends i guess….. what is best for the baby is for them to quit no matter how hard it is i did it and so did my boyfriend so i know it can be hard but if they really care about the child they would do anything it takes to make it easier on them
June 26th, 2009 at 7:06 am
They are right, it is hard to stop, but they should both be thinking of that baby and how it can’t just get up and walk away when the smoke starts to bother them. When I got pregnant, I’ll admit it, I didn’t quite right away, but I atleast tried to cut back, and then after about a month or so, I just quite all together. Unfortunatlly, there is nothing that you and your wife can say or do to get them to stop, they have to decide on their own.
June 26th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Well I as much as I hate to say it, it is their baby and their chocies. My friend has been smoking since the age of 15 got pregnant at the age of 23 and as soon as she found out she was pregnant she quit just like that, of course as soon as she got released from the hospital the first thing she did was light one up. So as hard as it can be they should have the babies best intrest at heart and stop at least for the 9 months.
June 26th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
tell her she is being foolish and she need to grow up she is putting her baby in harm and her baby could have a serious side affect and she is being selfish truth is if they are not going to stop completely the baby will be in harm for the rest of it’s life.
June 26th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Tell them their baby will have a low birth weight !! and that low birth weight and smoking are the leading causes of SIDS ! Be harsh if you have to ! Explain they are taking a big risk of killing their child.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
No you guys aren’t overreacting. A lot of young people do unhealthy things while they are pregnant. you and your wife needs to face the fact that there is only so much you can do. and the truth is they probably didn’t read the book
June 27th, 2009 at 1:23 am
There isn’t anything you can do and really, it isn’t any of your business!! I understand how you feel, but it is their baby, their lives and you can’t make them do anything!!!
June 27th, 2009 at 5:05 am
Sorry to hear that….that is very dangerous and sick, they should know that second hand smoking is the same thing as smoking especially with little kids, i doubt that there’s anything we can do but you should talk to your daughter in law and your son and explain to them in a very serious way. We all know is hard to quit smoking but try something else, something healthier, something that wont lead you or your baby to carry on a sickness. I hope they understand or at least stop smoking while carrying the baby. GOOD LUCK!
June 27th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Some doctors tell them if they are smoking for so long in the pregnancy they shouldnt stop because it could harm the baby. I smoked during my pregnancy and my daughter is fine. She was normal weight and had no problems when she was born, she is a year old now and still no problems. I did cut back a lot though and went from Mar. Lights to Ultra Lights. Just tell her to cut back some!! I hope everything goes well.
June 27th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
YOU cannot get her to stop…you have done all you can and short of locking her up that is all you can do…you gave her the info. and if you persue the issue you may anger them…leave it for now…she will have been told by her health carers of the danfers and sadly if she wont stop she wont stop.
June 27th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
as long as her doctor say’s it’s fine and the baby has no stress syptoms it’s ok also for her to stop, being pregnant can make the baby go through withdraw and cause health problems so if she got pregnant smoking and still is smoking she should actually keep smoking just not as much
June 27th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
You can’t get anyone to do anything and especially when they are adults. One thing you learn in life is that you CANNOT control others.
Yes, I have family members with diabetes but uncontrolled and I want to shake them and lock them up and make them eat good. I have overweight family and I want to grab them and make them workout for 2 hours a day with me…but I CAN’T. The only person you can control is YOURSELF.
Yes, people do things that are sad and disappointing.
But here’s what you CAN do. You can tell them that you are disappointed in them and that you don’t approve. You can tell them when they visit your house they are NOT allowed to smoke, or they get kicked out. You can hand them a book about it or some brochures (have them sent to their house). That’s about all you can do. You can pray the baby will be okay.
My husband is the healthiest, smartest, most talented guy I know and his mom smoked his whole pregnancy and she was a nurse!
June 27th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
You dont….you leave her alone and let her do what she wants to do because at that age she will anyways. You’ve told her your concerns and tried asking her to stop and eventually the doctor will say something and in the end she will have a very small baby. Good luck ….by the way Im not trying to be rude, but I know that at this age your gunna what you want to anyway!
June 28th, 2009 at 12:19 am
I smoked about a half a pack a day, and yes its so hard to stop but when i took that test and it came out positive i threw my cigs away! You should keep at it! Google the affects of smoking while preggers and find pics. Print them out, show her and him. There are some terrible, truthful pics and stories out there….I sincerely hope you can get them to quit. Good Luck.
June 28th, 2009 at 3:31 am
OMG! you have to get them a book with disabled children who didn’t have a chance at a normal life because their dumb *** mama’s was smoking while pregnant! I am so upset when I find a book I will definitely email you. She doesn’t know the long term effects that can be cause by premature births etc…?
June 28th, 2009 at 5:28 am
Unfortunately, you can’t make them stop. You’ve stressed that it’s terrible for the baby, and it’s a shame that they have chosen to continue. I’m sure it is very hard to quit, but the health of the baby should be more important. You’re not overreacting!