I Cant Stop Thinking About Suicide.. Everyday?
im 17 and a guy. i’ve been very depressed for months… since november its been really bad but right now it just feels like i have waitied so long and things dont will not get better. Ive been depressed before, 2 years ago i was also and i started cutting and burning myself.. i haven’t done it since i turned 17 but still i cant stop craving it.. i think about suicide a lot… almost everyday. my mood is so untstable.. one hour ill be in a fine mood and the next its terrible and all i want to do is overdose on anything. it really is like that.. sometimes i dont have any suicidal thoughts at all even when everything is shitty and other times i just want to die when everything is working out. i’ve always been oversensitive and have thought like this…
the only thing that seems to help is drugs, but only weed has given me benefits.. i smoke pot everyday but recent;y not as much because of money. when im depressed and suicidal, when i get high it just fades away and i think of everything differently and on a better prospective. i would never quit, it wud be stupid to do so… i cant imagine how depressed i would be if i did. but i dont always have weed and i have to rely on otherthings, i drink a couple times a week, and i do LSA (similar to lsd) whenever i can… the alcohol has to stop but when i get in that mood wheere nothing helps me i MUST turn to something so i can make the thoughts go away. in the summer ill have a big supply of opium pods.. not many people know but the tea you make from them is very strong and lasts all day long… i can’t wait to have it, i could care less about addiction and i dont even think i would try to control it, i just want to stop being so ******* depressed for no reason… the only drug i really want is weed but i wont have any large ammount until the fall.. i just keep telling myself that in the fall ill stop opium and alcohol, and can just smoke weed because thats when im happiest.. i dont even know if i can last that long.
i have no idea wat to do.. all my friends are convinced that i have ADHD, ive never talked to anyone about it. my friends dont know it hurts me a lot when they say im adhd. i’ve rethought everything 1000 times. help or advice?
4 Responses to “I Cant Stop Thinking About Suicide.. Everyday?”
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January 24th, 2010 at 11:49 am
depression with thoughts of suicide and illegal substance abuse? you should see a doctor. honestly. there is more to life and you will see this once your head is clear. depression and addiction are illnesses which need treating by a healthcare professional! if you had any other illness you would see a doctor, and you should see one now.
January 24th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
You need confidential, professional advice. And suicide, in every shape or form, is stupid. It is extinguishing your own life (Think about it, what are you going to smoke underground?) and negating any good things that can and WILL happen to you.
January 24th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Dont kill yourself you have alot to live up to for you the best thing to do is stop smoking pot it will ruin your life beleive me i know…..you can still stop but even when your depressed go to church learn about god and just keep moving forward when something terrible happens it means when something good happens it will be 10Xs better so just try to push through it and dont cut yourself,kill yourself and you will go to H3ll and then you will really burn yourself….okay well just try to make the best choice
January 24th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
please don’t kill yourself! things just can’t be THAT terrible. I mean, at least there are things…but if you die there will be nothing at all, and..absolutely no chance to have better things in life. Look, your life is precious. I know that you probably were told about this, but it really is. and there are people who love you. for example your parents. how would they feel if their died? terrible. more terrible than you do right know.
The other thing, please don’t use drugs. It’s stupid. you don’t need them to be happy. just go and do something else: sport, anything which doesn’t allow you to think. it will help. it always helps. and i know that you probably think you don’t need it but please go to a specialist and talk to him about these things. If you could ask it on yahoo answer you can ask a specialist, too. he will make you feel better, this is for sure. here, we are just trying to.
Good luck, and please see a specialist, dear!